‘Having a baby changes your life forever!’
It’s absolutely true; and when you’re pregnant with your first, everyone reiterates that your life will change (like it hasn’t already during pregnancy!!). But once you’ve tried your hand at mommy-hood, and announce a second pregnancy– people don’t mention quite as often how much the balance shifts again. Some will mention a change for older siblings, but many forget to mention that you will now be outnumbered!
Life with two has a whole new set of challenges and rewards. For example, your oldest will be sharing toys and attention– but the reward of seeing them play together and interact is so worth it.
The great thing about life with two or more, is that no matter how different each child is, you’re a little more experienced each time. This might be why some studies are showing a co-relation between happiness and having 2-3 children, and a decreased risk for post partum depression and delivery disatisfaction. Second time moms can be more in control!
Another interesting study shows that 2nd time moms (and in subsequent pregnancies + beyond) there are greater feelings of control over situations and emotions, leading to happier moms and happier babies.
As a second time mom myself, I’m slowly finding that there is balance (and life!) after two, outside of my house.
Shopping trips, family outings, and time for yourself can happen with a 6 month old and a 4 year old (or more!)– and the more times you do it, the more normal and manageable it becomes. Some of these issues are the most common concerns among parents with multiple children, and the best response to alleviating the stress by experienced parents, is to schedule your time. Making a plan and schedule you can stick to– one that’s reasonable and achievable– will make you feel more satisfied with your time.
Here are a few important things you may not think to schedule in, that can improve your day-to-day satisfaction:
- 1 on 1 dates with older children– a walk to the duck pond is my son’s go-to mommy date.
- Movie Night In with your Spouse– it’s inexpensive, comfortable, and can do wonders to reconnect.
- Express Mani/Pedi– Time for yourself doesn’t have to mean hours away. Taking an hour for some easy pampering, time at the gym alone, or a bubble bath will refresh your mind and body.
- Baby Massage– Time alone with baby can often equate to groggy, 3am diaper changes. To get to know your baby like you did with your first, schedule a little time alone with your wakeful baby while someone else has time with just the older kid(s). Baby’s little personality without distractions might surprise you!
Whether you’re only child is on the way to becoming an older sibling, or your a seasoned mom of multiples, these tips can help you manage your time with your little loved ones.